What is the ruling on becoming angry with the parents and raising one's voice at them? Bearing in mind that the parents have caused the son many problems in which he had to resolve; instead of looking after him while he was young, he is the one who had to resolve their stances and actions. Is getting angry and raising the voice at the parents sometimes considered from "Uqooq al walidain" (being undutiful to the parents) and unable to achieve success "Tawfeeq" in life?
From: Lamis Sh
Wa Alaikumu Assalaam wa Rahmatullah wa Barakaatuhu,
Allah سبحانه وتعالى made it prohibited to say "uff" to the parents. How about getting angry at them and raising the voice at them?
Allah سبحانه وتعالى says:
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا
"And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word."
Allah Subhanahu has compared being good to parents to His worship سبحانه وتعالى in order to show the greatness of this obligation. There are numerous texts regarding the obedience to the parents and their obedience eases the way to Jannah by His permission سبحانه وتعالى.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم says in the Sahih Hadith; extracted by Muslim by the authority of Abu Huraira (ra), that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said in the Sahih Hadith:
«رَغِمَ أَنْفُ، ثُمَّ رَغِمَ أَنْفُ، ثُمَّ رَغِمَ أَنْفُ»، قِيلَ: مَنْ؟ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ قَالَ: «مَنْ أَدْرَكَ أَبَوَيْهِ عِنْدَ الْكِبَرِ، أَحَدَهُمَا أَوْ كِلَيْهِمَا فَلَمْ يَدْخُلِ الْجَنَّةَ»
"Raghima anfu" and "Raghima anfu" and "Raghima anfu" (which literally means his nose is stuck to the sand because of the humiliation and disgrace)" They said: Who, O Messenger of Allah? He صلى الله عليه وسلم said:"The one who witnesses his parents when they become old, either one of them or both and does not enter Jannah." Blessings are to the one who witness his parents when they become old and obeys them and utters words of kindness to them, this will make him enter Jannah. We must pay attention to be good to our parents and be humble towards them and show compassion.
In any case, if someone lapses and "became angry" at his parents as mentioned in the question, then he must repent to Allah and seek the forgiveness of his parents and their pleasure. The hearts of the parents are lenient and merciful; and they forgive the lapses of their children if they ask for their forgiveness.
Ata Bin Khalil Abu Al-Rashtah
21 Shaban 1434 AH
30 June 2013 CE