Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Q&A: Rules regarding obedience to parents?

The following are translations of two question and answers, one from the time of Sheikh Taqiuddin an-Nabhani and the other from the time of Sheikh Abdul Qadeem Zalloom regarding the basic rules of obedience to parents. 

Obedience of parents is obligatory in what has relations to them and their care

Obedience to parents is obligatory in that which is not a disobedience to Allah, for there is no obedience to the created over disobedience to the creator. The obligatory obedience is in that which is related to looking after them and fulfill those economic needs which Allah has obliged for them or obedience in that which is not that is not obliged except with a Shar’I evidence and particular to both. So, if a father requests from his son to marry such and such or to trade in this or that or to travel to such country or such matters, then this matter is not obliged because Shar’a did not give him the right to order in this and it did not oblige obedience in such matters. But if the request of the father is for his son to divorce his wife then (he obeys in that which is not obliged) and he divorces her because it is narrated about RasulAllah that he accepted that Umar ask his son to divorce his wife.


The evidence for the obedience to the parents is obligatory in what is related to them and caring for them
Good conduct to the parents (Bir ul-Walidayn) is fulfilling their permitted concerns. And ingratitude to them (‘Uqooq ul-Walidayn) is not fulfilling their permitted concerns. Accordingly the order of one of them or both of them to perform that which concerns them obliges obedience to them in that, as long as the request is in Maroof and in the limits of possibility. Disobedience in this is Uqooq, which is sinful. Obedience to them in that which does not concern them is mandub because obedience to the parents and increasing benevolence is bringing closeness through which there is closeness to Allah (swt) and it is not obligatory. Accordingly, the order of both or one to marry a specific women or not to marry a specific woman or an order of one of them to divorce his wife, it is preferable for him to obey them in this matter, but it is not obliged to obey them in this, and it is not considered ingratitude if he does not obey them in this. Obedience in this is Increasing Benevolence and the evidence for obedience to them in this case is mandub and not wajib is the story of Abdullah ibn Umar with his father when Umar requested him to divorce his wife and Abdullah liked her and Umar disliked her. Abdullah did not obey his father and Umar mentioned this to the Nabi (saw) and RasulAllah (saw) said to Abdullah, “Divorce her O Abdullah” in a non-compulsory form. And Abdulllah understood that divorcing her was not compulsory upon him to obey his father in divorcing his wife and RasulAllah (saw) consented to him not divorcing his daughter.



Anonymous said...

so it means that the father's asking to divorce a woman and that the son does not obey because he loves his wife are both legitimate?

Islamic Revival said...

Yes, however for the son to follow the father's advice in this matter is mandub (recommended) but not obligatory.

Anonymous said...

Sir, my father is always asking me to follow a routine designed by him which is fine , but during college days its(sleeping early etc etc) hampering my studies and other activities. so is it obligatory for me to follow?

Riad Hasan said...

Assalamu alaikum.

May Allah swt give u best reward.
Is it allowed for a son to marry a girl where his father does not want ot marry?